Creepy but noble
PETER: Well, for what it’s worth, I think adopting that hot 19-year-old orphan was, though CREEPY, sort of NOBLE. KEVIN: Yeah, I think, in the end, I’m just not fit for organized charity. PETER: So no...
View ArticleSigning Shukri
BART: Joel, now that this Twilight kid’s single hit number one, I’d like you to sign his new girlfriend, Shukri. JOEL: Does… (sigh) Does she have any musical talent? BART: No, but she’s got a great...
View ArticleLegal divorce
KEVIN: Anthony? Where’s SHUKRI? ANTHONY: I just heard from her agent. She’s legally divorcing you as a parent. Also, she’s screwing Robert Pattinson. KEVIN: Whoa. So my adopted African daughter/lover...
View ArticleShukri meets the agent
KEVIN: Anthony, this is Shukri, my newly adopted African orphan daughter/lover. ANTHONY: I know Shukri. Took a meeting with her on Monday. KEVIN: You met with my AGENT before you met ME? SHUKRI: Yes....
View ArticleOn TV with Shukri
JILL: We’re here with popstar Kevin Edo and his newly adopted African daughter/lover. KEVIN: Hi Jill. We’re here to plug my new single. SHUKRI: And to promote my exercise video: FIERCE BY FAMINE....
View ArticleEnrolling in school
KEVIN: Hi, I’m here to enroll my new adopted daughter in school. ELLEN: SHUKRI? SHUKRI: ELLEN! ELLEN: Shukri and I were at Oxford together. KEVIN: You went to OXFORD? SHUKRI: Yes. I took my degree in...
View ArticlePlaydate
PETER: Hey Kevin, brought over Keith for a playdate with your new adopted kid from Africa. KEVIN: Oh cool… HEY SHUKRI! SHUKRI: What is it, Kev-y? I was just readying your oil massage. KEVIN: Shukri,...
View ArticleThe ol’ Edo mansion
KEVIN: Now that I’ve adopted you, you’ll be staying at the ol’ Edo mansion… SHUKRI: Your home is very modest. KEVIN: It has 30 rooms. SHUKRI: Yes, but in Chad, I lived in a gargantuan palace made...
View ArticleMeet Shukri
CECE: Kevin, this is SHUKRI, the daughter you adopted. KEVIN: Yes, yes, great… Wow, you are… as advertised. SHUKRI: Hello. KEVIN: So… welcome to the U.S.! You need some food? Was there much to eat in...
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